


Anything Is Easier

by Book_freak



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Feels, Gen, Post Season 5, Returning to Earth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-14 03:56:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14762138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Book_freak/pseuds/Book_freak
Summary: It's hard to measure days in space, and Daisy tries very hard not to count. Every passing second reminds her of the possibility that Coulson is really gone. That she will never see him again.





	Anything Is Easier

Daisy tried not to count. She tried to ignore how many days it had been since they left, tried to ignore that voice inside wondering if Coulson was still alive. They had said their goodbyes, it was all over now. She would never see him again.

Just the thought had hot tears stinging her eyes, and she fought to push them back.

Daisy went still when a gentle hand was placed on her shoulder. “You okay, Tremors?”

She swallowed and nodded. “M'fine.” Daisy curled her knees further up to her chest in the co-pilot's seat. “Just... nervous to go home.”

Mack seemed to catch the subtext loud and clear. “It's okay to wanna talk about him you know.”

She shook her head stiffly, refusing to look up. “I can't.”

Mack sighed. “Okay. If you change your mind...” But Daisy said nothing, so he walked away.

Daisy buried her face in her knees. She couldn't talk to the others about Coulson. She knew that they loved him, of course they did, but they also had never needed him like she had. She had spent so many years looking for a family, just _one_ person who would believe in her and accept her, and Coulson was the first person to do that. Now he was gone.

Maybe he wasn't though. Sure, they had been in space for well over a month looking for Fitz, but maybe Coulson had beaten the odds. Maybe she could see him one more time.

Maybe.

* * *

Night and day hadn't been a thing in a while now, but most of the others were asleep when Daisy looked around. She jumped in her seat when she saw Elena sitting beside her, two hot cups of coffee on the dash in front of them. “Buenos días, mija.” Elena greeted with a gentle smile. “Sleep well?”

She had been way too nice lately. Daisy knew it was because she felt bad, but she wasn't angry. Elena had just said what she thought. They were alike in that way. “Fine, I guess.” Daisy muttered. “Thanks for the coffee.”

Elena took a sip of her coffee. “Remember when we met?”

Daisy blinked and looked up at her, confused. “In Colombia?”

“Si.” She murmured. “My cousin, Francisco, he was the only family I really had left. When I did not know what was happening to me because of my powers, he was there. We fought together, helped each other.” She paused to keep her voice from cracking. “Then one day he was taken from me, and I had no one.”

Daisy hesitantly put a hand over hers. “I'm sorry.”

Elena wove their fingers together. “I know what this is like.” She whispered. “And you- you are not alone. No matter how much it feels like you are.”

Daisy let out a sigh, and some of that bottled pain went with it. “Thank you.” She murmured. “It's just- not knowing is killing me.” She bit the inside of her lip. “It's- it's _cruel._ I just wanna see him again, and- until I know he's- he's gone, I still could, you know?”

Elena squeezed her hand. “I know.” She said quietly. “You don't want to let go.”

Daisy laughed, blinking away the tears and hoping Elena didn't see. “How am I supposed to let go?” She asked. “I spent- _years,_ most of my life, trying to find my family, and now I'm just meant to- to be okay with losing it just like that?”

“You have not lost your family, Margarita.” Elena said, brushing Daisy's cheek with mechanical knuckles. “Coulson may have built this team but we are not going to disappear when he has gone.”

“It doesn't feel right without him though.” Daisy mumbled, her chest constricting. “And- May.. “Do- do you think she'll come back after...”

“She loves you.” Elena murmured, her thumb rubbing gentle circles on Daisy's hand. “You are the only person who I think she might love more than Coulson. She would not leave you.”

Daisy sniffled. “I can't lose them both. Not like this.”

Elena sighed. She couldn't promise that Daisy wouldn't lose them. They both knew that was a lie. She hesitated. “You want a hug?”

Daisy gave a wet laugh. “Yes please.”

Elena tugged on her hand until the two slid out of their seats and onto the ground. She shuffled over until she was close enough to press her torso against Daisy's and wrap her arms around her. She couldn't feel anything in her arms, but she knew that Daisy was there. “Te quiero.” She murmured, letting Daisy cling. “No matter what.”

Daisy squeezed her eyes shut and blocked out everything else. “I love you too.”

* * *

She shut everything out for a while after that. Daisy and Elena remained curled up together in the cockpit of the Zephyr until they both dozed off side by side.

“Daisy? Hey, Daisy.” A quiet voice roused her and Daisy blinked, looking around.

When she saw Fitz standing over her she scrambled back on impulse, throwing up one hand to keep him at bay.

An instant later she was awake and remembered. This wasn't the same Fitz who had tortured her. It wasn't the same, but she couldn't stop seeing it. “Sorry.” She muttered, lowering her hand.

Fitz shook his head, maintaining his distance and nudging Elena. “It's okay.” He murmured. “Take all the time you need. I just wanted to tell you we'll be hitting the atmosphere in the next hour, so we all need to be strapped in.”

Elena took his offered hand and stood up. “Thank you Fitz.”

“S'alright.” Fitz muttered, looking down. “You lot are the ones who came to space to find me.”

Daisy swallowed. “We'd do it again.” She said, an olive branch.

He smiled at her in that crooked way that Fitz always did when he felt a little shy. “Thanks.”

Daisy was so tired and so preoccupied about Fitz that she’d almost forgotten about the family they had left behind on Earth until they came in to orbit. The ride through the atmosphere was rough, but what was far rougher was what started happening after that.

Daisy's phone buzzed, and her heart stopped.

She fished it out of her pocket. _1 Missed Call – May._

She felt like she was going to be sick, and then the phone buzzed again, another missed call.

Another.

Another.

Bile rose in her throat as the missed calls continued to stack up and Daisy started to shake violently. This was it. He was gone forever. She was never going to see Coulson again.

“Woah, got some turbulence!” Davis cried from the cockpit, and with a brief whoosh, Daisy's phone was snatched from her hands.

Elena didn't look at it, instead holding a hand out to barely brush Daisy's. “Calm down, mi niña.” She murmured.

Daisy nodded, closing her eyes to try to concentrate, levelling out her breathing and feeling the Zephyr's shaking come to a stop. At least the shaking she had caused. When she opened her eyes again, Elena was still holding her phone, watching her. Daisy wasn't sure if she wanted it back or not. The not knowing was making her feel sick, but at least there was a tiny glimmer of hope.

She bit her lip. “A-anything?”

Elena glanced at the screen and shook her head. “Only missed calls.”

Daisy swallowed thickly. “Okay.”

Jemma put a hand on her shoulder, grabbing Daisy's attention. She had almost forgotten she was there. “We're here.” Jemma murmured. “It'll be okay.”

Even comforting words made her want to cry. Jemma said it would be okay, that they would get through this. And _this_ was Coulson being gone. Them never seeing him again, never hearing his voice or seeing him smile.

And May. Daisy knew that she had wanted to spend as much time with Coulson as she could before it was too late, but now she had been alone on Earth without their team, mourning him for weeks without anyone there for her. She had called Daisy, she'd _needed_ them and none of them could answer.

Would she still be there waiting for them? Daisy didn't think she could handle losing Coulson and May at the same time. Her head started to pound when she realised that May was the only parent she had left, as well as the only person who could understand how it felt to need Coulson _that much_.

“Coming in!” Davis cried, “Hold on, I'm not great at landing this thing.”

Daisy barely noticed the Lighthouse entrance sliding open, the water, the sight of _Earth._ She just wanted them to land. She wanted them to land so she could run to her room, lock the door, and cry until she couldn't cry anymore. Now she could feel the pressure in her head, the slight heat behind her eyes and she knew it was coming.

She just didn't want the others to see, because then they would make her feel better. She wasn't ready for that right now. The pain was the only way she could hold on to Coulson.

Comforting words didn't catch her attention, the engines pulling in to land didn't grab her attention. What did make Daisy sit up was the sight of a figure, barely visible through the cockpit window. A small figure, with dark hair.

She knew. She knew who it was and why she was there.

May was back, because…

Before the doors had even opened properly Daisy was bolting down the ramp as quickly as she could. She could feel herself crumbling, could feel everything falling apart as she realised why May was there. That the only reason she would be waiting for them here was that he was gone.

Coulson was gone.

She collided with May with such force that the two of them were forced back several steps, almost toppling over before May's back hit the wall. Daisy's arms wrapped around her so tightly she would swear she could feel May's ribs crack, but she didn't care. May was the only one who loved Coulson as much as she did. The only one who understood.

May's arms stiffly came up to hug her back. “Daisy-” She grunted, the force of Daisy's embrace forcing the air from her lungs. “It's okay.”

Daisy wanted to speak. She wanted to say that it wasn't okay, but all she could do was bury her head in May's shoulder and let the shaking and the hot tears wrack her body.

She thought she could do this. She thought she could just push through after Coulson died, for him if for nothing else, but she couldn't do it. Everything was too much without him and she couldn't do it.

The others were moving around but Daisy paid them no heed, didn't let go of May or move her head to look at them. She didn't want to look at them, so she ignored the sounds of their various footsteps, continuing to tremble and sob and cling to May. She was never going to let go. After losing so many parents now, Daisy was not losing this last one. May was going to live forever. She had to.

“Don't I get a hug?”

The words sent a shock through her which extended out through the ground, causing a violent quake to shake the base around her and Daisy's body to go rigid.

It couldn't be. They had been gone for months, it _couldn't_ be.

But when Daisy looked up he was standing right there, exactly like he had looked the day she had said goodbye. Smiling at her, healthy and alive.

She pounced without hesitation, the ground beneath them shaking more consistently. Coulson's arms came up to return the hug. “It's okay.” He soothed. “It's okay Daisy.”

Daisy heaved in shallow breaths. “I-is this real?” She gasped. “Is it real?”

Phil brought one hand up to cradle her head. “It's real.” He murmured. “I promise, I'm here.”

She whimpered and squeezed him more tightly, tears finally breaking free from her control and soaking Coulson's shoulder as he stroked her hair and murmured comforts in her ear. Daisy closed her eyes in an attempt to ground herself, hearing the others approaching and reacting with similar surprise and joy that Coulson was alive.

Daisy swallowed and sniffed. “Wh-what happened?” She asked, wiping her eyes but refusing to let go just yet.

Phil smiled. “It's a long story.” He murmured. “I'll tell you all about it later.”

“Okay.” Daisy mumbled. The fear and anxiety was starting to go away. That made sense, given that the fear and anxiety was all about never seeing Coulson again. “I just- I saw all the missed calls and I thought...”

“I know.” Coulson whispered. “I'm sorry.”

Daisy drew back enough to look at him. He was real. He was there. She sighed, releasing the last of the tension, and let go, backing up to let the others greet him. She kept backing up until a gentle hand was placed on her shoulder, stopping her from walking right into May.

“You good?” She asked quietly.

Daisy swallowed and nodded. “Yeah, I just- I was really scared.” A thought occurred to her and her eyes narrowed. “Don't you know how to _text?!_ ”

May raised an eyebrow. “I called.”

“Yeah, I know, like a _million times!_ You didn't wanna send a quick, 'Oh, by the way Coulson's totally fine' message?!” She was getting slightly hysterical, and Daisy could see May trying not to smile.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.”

Daisy huffed and crossed her arms. “You know how to text, I've seen you do it.”

“I left a voicemail.”

“Oh my God you are _so old.”_

May snorted. “I missed you.”

Daisy looked at her for a moment, her glare dissolving as she pulled May into a much gentler hug. “I missed you too.” She mumbled. “Thank you for saving him.” She knew it was May. It had to be. She had changed his mind, and she had found a solution.

Melinda smiled against her neck. “It was the easiest thing to do.”

Daisy sighed. “Yeah.” She murmured, turning her head to look at Coulson, barely visible in the group hug the others had pulled him into. It was an easy decision for her too, given everything they had been through and all the things they had done.

Anything was easier than living without their mentor. Their teammate.

Her father.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Margarita - Daisy in Spanish. According to my amazing beta.


End file.
